8 signs that you have a psychopathic mother
Every mother has a lot of expectations from her kids. It is natural. However, if the mother starts to think of the child as a commodity and an extension of herself, then it is a sign that the child is dealing with a psychopathic mother. Before I start to discuss the signs and symptoms of a psychopathic mother or psychopathic parent signs, let’s understand what is a psychopath and the female psychopath.
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Psychopaths
By definition, psychopaths are people who suffer from a personality disorder that encompasses traits like lack of empathy, self-serving interpersonal style, manipulative, deceitful, and a lot of rule-breaking and risk taking behavior, and finally a grand sense of self-worth.
How do psychopaths treat their family?
Female psychopaths
As per research, both male as well as female psychopaths share a lot of similarities in their personalities Both these type of psychopaths are deceptive, emotionally shallow, self-centered and have a complete lack of empathy. All they care about are their self-serving reasons. They lack remorse for what they do and blame others for their own actions as well as consequences. Psychopaths have been observed to use their physical appearance and charm for the purpose of manipulating others. Women have been observed to use sex more often compared to outright violence while men prefer to use violence instead.
Gender differences between the male and the female psychopaths
Female psychopaths are more adept at the art of manipulating others than male psychopaths. They also use the mode of guilt to make others do what they want them to. Female psychopaths have been observed to less likely engage in violence, physical threats or animal cruelty. They are more likely to achieve their goals by using manipulation, deceit, flirting and their physical appearance. Along with this, female psychopaths have been more commonly observed to target their own children to achieve their goals.
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| Signs of a psychopathic mother |
Psychopathic mothers
Psychopathic mothers generally are of the belief that since they gave birth to the child, the child is their possession and must do everything the mother asks of the child. Psychopathic mothers also believe that since they gave birth to the child, they also have the right to kill the child.
Signs of a psychopathic mother
The good mother emphasis
The first sign of a psychopathic mother is that she makes sure that everyone acknowledges that she is such an amazing mother.
To others, such people may come across as martyrs – a mother who would sacrifice her own needs and wants to satisfy those of her child. However, behind closed doors, she will show no genuine interest in caring for her child.
One of the psychopathic parent signs is that such people may even subject the child to abuse and emotional trauma due to their twisted thought process. She is the mother, she has given birth to the child, so she has the right to ask anything of the child. A psychopathic mother considers her child to be an extension of her own self. According to her, the sole purpose of a child is to meet the wants and needs of the mother.
Psychopathic mothers are only appreciative of their kids when they do what they want. However, this appreciation is also not given wholeheartedly. The appreciation is given in a way that the child can be kept in control of the mother.
Suppose a psychopathic mother is only interested in her child’s academic performance. The moment the child performs bad in school or the moment the grades fall a little beneath her expectations, she will start to physically and emotionally abuse the child. She will make the child feel guilty for getting less marks or grades to the point of driving the child to commit suicide. She will never try to understand the reason behind the fall of the child’s grades.
Even when the child meets the mother’s expectations, the performance of the child will never be truly appreciated. She would undermine the child’s capability by saying, maybe the questions were easy or everyone got good grades or the scoring and grading was lenient. In other words, no matter how much the child’s tries, the mother will never be pleased of the child’s performance. Hope these examples have shown you some psychopathic parent signs.
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Afraid of their child’s capabilities
A psychopathic mother is afraid of the capabilities and talents of her own children. One of the psychopathic parent signs is that such mothers wants their children to always be in their shadow and follow in her footsteps. However, the moment the child starts to display talents or capabilities which he mother does not have, this threatens the self-worth of the psychopathic mother. She feels if her child outshines her, people will pay more attention to her kids instead of her. Therefore, she tries to diminish the self confidence of her child. She also tried to prevent her children from excelling in their talents or capabilities. The only time she would promote her kids is when she feels that she might be given credit for the talent of her kids.
Act as victims
Always show themselves in a helpless light to others is another psychopathic parent sign. Such mothers will fake injuries, sickness etc. just to gain sympathy from others and to manipulate others to their own agenda. If a psychopathic mother is confronted about her behavior, she will turn the tables and portray herself as the victim. she will try to put the blame on the child who dared to complain about them in the first place.
Master manipulators
Psychopathic mothers are masters at manipulating their kids and others. This makes it difficult for the child to complain to anyone about the situation he or she is stuck in. When questioned about their wrongful behavior, they will play the victim and manipulate the other person to think that the child is wrong. They will also pretend to cover up for their kid so that others feel what a good parent she is.
Psychopathic mothers create spin a web of lies, that even if the child approaches someone for help, no one would believe that the child is in any kind of danger from such a person. The child gets into the downward spiral of depression from where recovery becomes difficult due to their traumatic past.
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Double sided behavior
In front of people, a psychopathic mother would praise her child. However, at home or behind closed doors, the behavior of the mother towards the child will be completely different. She will show no interest in caring for the child and might even subject the child to verbal, emotional or physical abuse.
Taking credit for everything good that the kid does
If an outsider praises the child, the mother will try to take the credit. As per her, every good thing the child does is because of her. After all, she is the one who brought the child to life. The child is never given credit for behaving well, doing well in sports, for a good academic performance etc. Taking credit for every good thing done by their offspring is a psychopathic parent sign.
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Unable to feel empathy
Psychopathy mothers are unable to feel any kind of empathy towards their kids. This can cause emotional stunting in the child. The child continues to work according to the mother in the hopes of receiving a well deserved praise but that never happens. Eventually the child starts to feel numb from inside as a way of survival.
The silent treatment
A psychopathic mother uses any and every tool at her disposition to keep her child under her control. However, when all else fails, she will wield the final tool in her arsenal, the silent treatment. She will isolate herself and stop talking to people around her. She will pretend to be the victim and put the blame on the child for upsetting her. She will make the child feel guilty till the child does whatever it is that she wants. Another psychopathic parent sign.
Effect on the child of a psychopathic mother
Unfortunately, such behavior from a psychopathic mother over time leads to a loss of self-confidence and self esteem in the child. This can lead to one of the two outcomes in the child’s behavior.
Either the child feels that he or she is not good enough and will never be able to do well in life. Suicide rates have been observed to be higher in kids of guardians showing psychopathic parent signs. Since they are always taught that they will never be able to do anything good in life, life starts to lose meaning for them. They feel that they have nothing to live for because they will never excel in anything.
Alternatively, the child may keep striving to do good. He or she may find the motivation to prove his or her mother wrong. This can lead to one of the two outcomes. If the mother is overbearing and abusive towards the child, the child may follow in the mother’s footsteps and turn out to be an abusive individual later on in life. The mother may encourage cruelty in the child and the child in order to please the mother, continues to engage in acts of cruelty. Eventually, humanity fades away from the child, and he or she starts to enjoy the acts of cruelty taught by the mother. Such kids would even kill another animal or human to please their mother.
Alternatively, the child may recognize the signs and get away from the mother. These kids will spend the rest of their lives trying to pick up the pieces of their soul which were crushed by their mother and put them back together. They may feel more motivated than others to excel in their tasks because they were always told they are worthless and now want to prove it wrong. However, very few kids are actually able to regain back that confidence without help. No matter how well they do in life, their childhood trauma and the voice of their mother is always in the back of their heads telling them that they don’t deserve recognition or success, they are worthless, selfish, a burden on the parents/partner etc.
When do psychopaths give up?
Unfortunately, psychopaths do not understand the concept of pointless discussions. So, no, they will not give up on any argument, no matter how small it might be. They will keep trying to provoke you into saying something that you will regret saying later. Once a regretful sentence gets out of your mouth, your psychopath mother will use it to blackmail you to the point that you fall on your knees and beg for forgiveness for a mistake you never intended to let happen.
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| Dealing with a psychopath mom |
How to survive a psychopathic mother?
The only way to survive a psychopath, whether the person is your mother or not is to get away. If you feel that your mother is a psychopath, you can save yourself only by going away from her. Your mother will never acknowledge the good things you do. She will always be condescending and expect you to be at her beck and call. You need to understand that this cycle of humiliation will never stop.
People who show psychopathic parent signs cannot be reasoned with because as per them what they are doing is correct. If you propose a meeting with a therapist or counselor, your psychopathic mother will turn the tables on you and accuse you of taking advantage of her good nature.
So for the sake of your own sanity and future, get away from such mothers before they take over your life completely. If you try to talk to your relatives about your mother’s traits, she will portray herself as the victim and manipulate others as well. Therefore, unfortunately, the only way out of this predicament is to leave your mother and find your own peace and care for your own self and sanity.
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Conclusion
Even parents who work towards the good of their kids, may commit a mistake and cause a few instances where the child is emotional hurt. However, a child who grows up in the presence of a psychopathic mother or whose caretakers show psychopathic parent signs inherits a legacy of confusion, guilt, and self-doubt. Even if such kids escape from the clutches of their mother and build a life for themselves, the self-doubt and lack of appreciation never go away. They always doubt themselves, have low self-esteem, and finally are unable to trust anyone without help from a counselor or therapist. If you know of someone who has been living with a psychopathic mother, it is best that they get out of that situation and get help from a therapist. This is the only way to pick up the pieces and move forward in life.
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